Breaking: Tony Romo breaks up with Jessica Simpson
Cowboy fans around the world rejoice!
Tony has dumped the succubus. The ditzy drainer of his Chi. The Yoko Ono to his John Lennon. The cause of all his knucklehead displays on the fiel
d. Non-stop source of embarrassing moments captured on film or in quotes.
According to People magazine online, Romo dumped Jessica the day before her 29th birthday.
If you’re a Dallas Cowboys football fan, there can be only one conclusion: Superbowl baby! With T.O. gone and now Jessica out of the picture, there are no more obstacles between Tony Romo and his inevitable Cowboy greatness. Right?
Not exactly, after the jump we’ll review why this might not turn out great for Cowboy fans if it’s indeed true.
While neither person is on the record about the break-up, People magazine cites circumstantial evidence and an anyonymous source. One piece of evidence they’re citing: Romo went partying with the guys at L.A.’s MyHouse, sipping Grey Goose and apparently entertaining ladies who stopped by the table.
The other piece of circumstantial evidence:
On Saturday night, Romo spoke to a group of well-heeled sports memorabilia collectors at the Los Angeles Sports Museum of Los Angeles. He “blushed” when a woman asked about his relationship with Jessica Simpson, according to the L.A. Daily News.
Let that sink in for a moment, Cowboy fan. Your NFL quarterback blushed when asked about his girlfriend? I can only conclude that this incident will inspire the confidence of his teammates and earn him nothing but respect on the field. (Seriously, isn’t that something you grow out of by age 10?)
Let’s also remember the well-worn phrase: hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If you scorn the ho right before her almost-30 birthday…your whole world is absolutely screwed. She’s getting older, she’s almost to a milestone birthday and you kick her out the door and go out with the guys instead? Have you been following pro-athletes and spurned women in the news lately, Tony? You might want to get your ass in the witness protection program.
Cowboy fans: you thought going to Cabo was a distraction? Think about how frazzled that guy’s going to be after months of harassing phone calls, dead fish in the mail, busted windshields, and whatever else crazy women might do to the guy that dumped them.
In all seriousness, though, if Romo couldn’t focus on a game because of the tang in the stands, he’s got much bigger problems than Jessica and will never lead any team to greatness. If she’s such a distraction to him, that’s his problem not hers. I expect this changes nothing about Romo or his game. He didn’t get dumber by dating Jessica, Tony Romo is a knucklehead and this isn’t going to change that. Until he figures out how to fix that, it won’t matter who’s in his bed at the end of the day, expect more of the same.
